the musings of a fishing lure

i'm listening to...

2010-08-03T08:44:00.002+08:00

...the first single off the new Scissor Sisters album, called FIRE WITH FIRE...catchy, infectious and oh so uplifting...lovely song...

bought the iphone4

2010-08-02T17:28:00.005+08:00

...in spite of all the reported so-called issues. surprise surprise, try as i may (till the point where my hand started to cramp), i could not get the claw of death to work (read HERE).

well it's been fun fun fun so far...especially once i got to playing with the Hipstamatic app...here are some test shots.

have been busy busy like a bee...

2010-08-02T15:33:00.002+08:00

...but i will be back soon. in the meantime, the below is dedicated all apple fans!

the honda NSX

2010-07-27T09:05:00.002+08:00

a 6 minute tribute to the iconic NSX...only the most celebrated Japanese supercar of the 90s, developed by none other that the late F1 God, Ayrton Senna himself...

it starts slow...but wait till the 4th minute when it hits the Nordschleife...holy $h!t.

the NSX could teach a lot of the newer Japanese so-called supercars a lesson or two about interactivity, throttle response, driveability and mechanical grip...

i'd give up my left nut for one of these babies...seriously.

excuses excuses

2010-07-23T17:12:00.001+08:00

hilarious!! the spelling and grammatical errors are incredible...

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan . 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip..
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray Friday from school.. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the shits.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13.. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover…
22. Please excuse Brenda . She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

he learns well

2010-07-23T17:11:00.001+08:00

A guy walks into a pool hall with his pet monkey and orders a drink. While he’s drinking, the monkey is busy running all over the place and getting into everything.

Pretty soon, the bartender says to the guy, ” Did you see what your monkey just did? He got into the fruit tray and ate up half of the fruit!”

“Oh, yeah”, says the guy, ” he’s crazy and he’ll eat anything. Just put it on my tab and I’ll take care of it.”

A few minutes later the bartender comes up to the guy and says, ” Did you see what your monkey did this time? He jumped up on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball!”

“I told you he’s crazy and he’ll eat anything”, says the guy, “just put it on my tab.”

Pretty soon the guy finishes his drinks, pays the tab, picks up the monkey and leaves.

About a week later, in comes the guy with his monkey again and orders a drink. The monkey again starts getting into everything.

After a few minutes the bartender says to the guy, ” Did you see that? Your monkey just took a cherry out of the fruit tray, stuck it in his butt, pulled it out and ate it!”

“Yeah”, says the guy, “he’s still crazy and he’ll eat anything, but now, after that cue ball, he measures first!”

apps

2010-07-23T17:10:00.001+08:00

sneak attack!

2010-07-23T17:09:00.002+08:00

idiot

2010-07-23T17:09:00.001+08:00

there is an element of truth there

2010-07-23T17:07:00.001+08:00

17 things about DNA

2010-07-23T17:06:00.001+08:00

hahahaha....make up your mind, woman!

2010-07-23T17:05:00.001+08:00

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband, “You need a piece of tail.”

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, “Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite…”

ey, what's this?

2010-07-23T17:03:00.001+08:00

beaver shot

2010-07-23T17:02:00.001+08:00

perspective!

2010-07-23T17:01:00.001+08:00

colloquialism

2010-07-23T17:00:00.002+08:00

geddit?

LOL

2010-07-23T17:00:00.001+08:00

female urinal

2010-07-23T16:58:00.000+08:00

hmmm this might work.

bar rafaeli

2010-07-23T16:54:00.001+08:00

a photoshoot for Irit S/S...whatever that is....does it really matter?

cameron diaz...

2010-07-23T16:52:00.001+08:00

...does Harper's Bazaar...and how!

maggie q

2010-07-23T16:49:00.001+08:00

haven't seen much of her in a bit...but here's a photoshoot promoting her new show NIKITA (wonder what it's all about...gotta go check it up online later). looking reaaaaaally sexy!

jennifer aniston...

2010-07-23T16:46:00.002+08:00

...launches her new perfume line and gives us a good look at her sweet bod. i approve.

ashley greene...

2010-07-23T16:45:00.002+08:00

...works out that bod of hers...i'd like to work her out myself...in my dreams...

mila kunis...

2010-07-23T16:44:00.002+08:00

...knows i am watching, hence she gives me a little peek down her top....ya, i wish!

kylie minogue is...

2010-07-23T16:43:00.002+08:00

...doing the publicity rounds for her new album...and showing off a tight taut derriere in this LBD...slurp

shakira...

2010-07-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

...is really flexible...as can be seen during the shooting of a new video...

who's pepper?

2010-07-22T08:31:00.002+08:00

SALT....jason bourne with a vagina.

starring none other than the iconic Angelina Jolie...gotta watch it...

subaru US launches the sti...

2010-07-22T08:17:00.003+08:00

...and to promote this, Subaru has released a bunch of short clips featuring their works rally team drive Dave Mirra taking members of the unsuspecting public for a slidey hoon around a Gymkhana-style rally course...

the one you HAVE to see is the first one of course...they make a nice pair...erm, Mirra and passenger of course...

and the piece de resistance...a Subaru-produced film of a hoon around the Nurgburgring Nordschleife in the STI sedan...supposedly at a best lap of 7:55.

katy perry

2010-07-21T19:02:00.005+08:00

a shrine to her divine goofiness and her amazing chesticular development...

baby's first tunnel

2010-07-20T18:53:00.000+08:00

actually technically-speaking it's the second, no?

this one's for my buddy, ole snakehips

2010-07-20T18:52:00.001+08:00

woah!!!

now that i think of it...

2010-07-20T18:51:00.002+08:00

on the left is walter, jeff dunham's dummy.

on the right is joe biden, obama's dummy.

the karate kid.........

2010-07-20T18:50:00.001+08:00

...and the angry chicken

so so so so warped!

2010-07-20T18:46:00.001+08:00

fingernail profiling

2010-07-20T18:45:00.001+08:00

something the FBI came up with?

striking resemblance there

2010-07-20T18:44:00.002+08:00

now THAT, my friends, is THE BLT!!!

2010-07-20T18:44:00.001+08:00

argh...

2010-07-20T18:43:00.001+08:00

distracted?

2010-07-20T18:42:00.001+08:00

wahahahahahah

2010-07-20T18:40:00.001+08:00

totally inappropriate (not to mention un-PC), but utterly brilliant!

jessica alba...

2010-07-20T17:45:00.003+08:00

...is a naughty and duuuurty girl here...in my wettest filthiest dreams.

vaness paradis

2010-07-20T17:43:00.002+08:00

i never get tired of looking at her...johnny depp is one lucky bugger.

doutzen kroes...

2010-07-20T17:42:00.002+08:00

...does Numero Tokyo magazine. never heard of them but who cares!!!! good god, that bod!!!

megan fox...

2010-07-20T17:39:00.002+08:00

...is looking really good. marriage must agree with her, dammit!

alyssa milano

2010-07-20T17:34:00.002+08:00

always nice to see her out and about...and looking damn fine.

kristen bell...

2010-07-20T17:30:00.001+08:00

...is extraordinarily pretty and crazy cute!! *heart going thumpity-thump*

angeline jolie...

2010-07-20T17:27:00.002+08:00

...shows off some svelte gams at the premiere of her new movie SALT, also unofficially known as Jason Bourne with A Vagina.

latest hearsay is that she and Catherine Zeta-Jones are battling it out for the lead role in the Elizabeth Taylor biopic...

lindsay lohan

2010-07-20T17:17:00.001+08:00

jail-bound recalcitrant little b-list celeb does COMPLEX magazine. nice breasticles, i must admit.

kelly brook sucking down on an...

2010-07-20T17:16:00.001+08:00

...ice cream cone. damn, i've never been so jealous of frozen confectionery...

holy bloody big bastard!

2010-07-18T08:12:00.002+08:00

this little fellow was caught on the Fraser River in British Columbia, Canada in 2005.

four men battled the fish for about six hours before the sturgeon finally gave up long enough for a picture. catch and release is mandatory for white sturgeon...the big fish measured 11 feet and probably weighed about 1,000 pounds.

favourites

2010-07-18T08:12:00.001+08:00

quick change artist

2010-07-18T08:11:00.001+08:00

craigslist

2010-07-18T08:10:00.001+08:00

wherever you are, there you are.

2010-07-18T08:09:00.001+08:00

does it smell funny in there?

what movie was this?????

2010-07-18T08:08:00.001+08:00

dammit! *entranced*

married life

2010-07-18T08:06:00.001+08:00

kelly brook + bikini

2010-07-18T07:56:00.001+08:00

thank you, maxim!!!!! *faint*

leighton meester...

2010-07-18T07:54:00.001+08:00

...on the set of Gossip Girls. another one in danger of blinding people around her. *slurp*

katherine mcphee...

2010-07-18T07:51:00.003+08:00

...in a bikini. heart attack time for me.

dania ramirez...

2010-07-18T07:49:00.001+08:00

...is damn fit. and those could put someone's eye out! i like...

more blake lively...

2010-07-18T07:46:00.001+08:00

...and more of those utterly luscious long legs. if only nother nature would have been a bit more co-operative in the first photo...argh. so close yet so far.

hilary duff

2010-07-18T07:43:00.000+08:00

O.M.F.G. *fap fap fap*

blake lively...

2010-07-18T07:41:00.001+08:00

...still rocks my jocks. even dresssed casually, she causes all sorts of ruckus down below in my crotch.

get ME to the greek...

2010-07-16T18:20:00.002+08:00

...man, i hope this comes here...i am such a brand fan!

rosie huntington-whiteley...

2010-07-16T18:12:00.001+08:00

...is the new hot (and i mean HAAAAAWWWWT) chick in Transformers 3...replacing Megan Fox...and this Victoria's Secret angel is scorching!

embarassment

2010-07-16T15:32:00.002+08:00

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE.”

That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word ‘Tampax’ for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

that's a lot of mucus...

2010-07-16T15:32:00.001+08:00

gross.

cocoa puffs

2010-07-16T15:31:00.001+08:00

stuff you never knew about Star Wars

2010-07-16T15:29:00.000+08:00

afternoon delights....

2010-07-16T15:25:00.001+08:00

The only way for the Andersons to pull off a Sunday afternoon ‘quickie’ with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

‘There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,’ he shouted.
‘An ambulance just drove by!’
‘Looks like the Jones’ have company,’ he called out.
‘Matt’s riding a new bike!’
‘Looks like the Sanders are moving!’
‘Jason is on his skate board!’

After a few moments he announced….

The Coopers are screwing!!

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, ‘How do you know they’re screwing?’

‘Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.’

never have i...

2010-07-16T15:24:00.000+08:00

...wanted so much to be a dolphin.

enunciation...important, you know!

2010-07-16T15:23:00.000+08:00

My neighbors, the two cute, young, lesbians next door, asked me what I would like for my birthday.

I was quite surprised, when they gave me a Timex! It was very nice of them, but I’m pretty sure that they misunderstood me, when I said: ”I wanna watch !”

what if movie titles were dead-honest?

2010-07-16T08:56:00.010+08:00

the ferrari 599 gran turismo omologato

2010-07-15T14:20:00.002+08:00

chris harris of EVO UK tests out the ferrari of the moment on the Fiorano track and on the road.

lucky bastard.

another vid of the 1-Series M

2010-07-15T14:11:00.002+08:00

turbo V6 for sure.
M-diff for sure.

maybe twin-turbo?

E30 M3 redeux? we can only hope.

BMW 1-Series M

2010-07-15T14:06:00.002+08:00

i'll never be able to afford one of these babies, but perhaps just perhaps a 125 would be nice in the future...

in the meantime, i'll just watch, drool and dream on.

bluddy 'ell!

2010-07-15T13:40:00.000+08:00

freaky!

apple geek doormat

2010-07-15T13:39:00.001+08:00

this was a banned commercial...

2010-07-15T13:38:00.002+08:00

...for LEVI'S in the UK...clever!

now that's a relief to know...

2010-07-15T13:34:00.000+08:00

there is a point there

2010-07-15T13:33:00.002+08:00

think before you speak

2010-07-15T13:33:00.001+08:00

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch less panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs … enough times till her husband says… “Are you wearing crotch less panties?”

“Y-e-s,” she answers with a seductive smile.

“Thank God for that… I thought you were sitting on the cat.

He never heard the gunshot.

the difference

2010-07-15T13:32:00.001+08:00

Two men are in the doctor’s office waiting to get vasectomies. A nurse comes in and asks the men to strip and put on their medical gowns while they wait for the doctor. A few minutes later she comes back, reaches under one man’s gown and begins to masturbate him .Shocked, he asks, “What the hell are you doing?

To which she replies, “We have to vacate the sperm from your system to have a clean procedure.”

Not wanting to cause a problem, the man relaxes and enjoys it as she completes her task. The second man watches all of this and by the time the nurse turns to him, he is quite ready for his turn. To his surprise, she drops to her knees, opens her lips and begins to give him a blowjob.

The first man, surprised too, asks, “Hey, what is this? Why is it that I get a hand job and he gets blow job?”

The nurse says, “That, my dear sir, is the difference between government healthcare and private insurance..”

hahahahahahahaha

2010-07-15T13:31:00.001+08:00

bond girl olga kurylenko...

2010-07-15T13:27:00.001+08:00

...does BEBE. and how!

dakota fanning...

2010-07-15T13:24:00.000+08:00

...is quirky, ethereal and oh so hot *notti thoughts*

jennifer love hewitt...

2010-07-15T13:22:00.002+08:00

...looks fabulous, on her way to the Tonight Show...ai yai yaiiiii

seen at the 18th annual ESPY awards

2010-07-15T13:15:00.002+08:00

ashley green

erin andrews

marisa miller

brooklyn decker

danica patrick (horrible hair!)

mila kunis...

2010-07-15T13:12:00.002+08:00

...is ridiculously cute and gorgeous...on the set of Friends With Benefits.

nicole scherzinger's...

2010-07-15T13:09:00.001+08:00

...boobsicles are awesome *speechless*

hilary duff...

2010-07-15T13:07:00.001+08:00

...gives me the come-hither look...and surely i will come.

my (almost) daily dose of ashley greene

2010-07-15T13:06:00.001+08:00

even walking the streets in casuals, she looks va va vooom!

irina shayk or sheik or wat?

2010-07-15T13:04:00.002+08:00

all i know is she's blazing hot and she's apparently christiano ronaldo's main squeeze...damn him!

ouch

2010-07-14T11:37:00.000+08:00

english...is a weird language

2010-07-14T09:24:00.001+08:00

“The Chaos” (by G. Nolst Trenite, a.k.a. “Charivarius”; 1870 – 1946)

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you’ll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written).

Made has not the sound of bade,
Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.
Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.
Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war, and far.

From “desire”: desirable—admirable from “admire.”
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.
Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral.
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.
Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which is said to rime with “darky.”

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.
Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s O.K.,
When you say correctly: croquet.

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive, and live,

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,

We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover,

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police, and lice.

Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label,

Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,
Rime with “shirk it” and “beyond it.”

But it is not hard to tell,
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous, clamour
And enamour rime with hammer.

Pussy, hussy, and possess,
Desert, but dessert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.
Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rime with anger.
Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.
Font, front, won’t, want, grand, and grant.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.
And then: singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.

Query does not rime with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;
Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.

Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual.

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;
Put, nut; granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rime with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific,

Tour, but our and succour, four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria,

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.

Say aver, but ever, fever.
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess—it is not safe:
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.

Heron, granary, canary,
Crevice and device, and eyrie,

Face but preface, but efface,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,

Ear but earn, and wear and bear
Do not rime with here, but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation—think of psyche—!
Is a paling, stout and spikey,

Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing “groats” and saying “grits”?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel,
Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict, and indict!

Don’t you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally: which rimes with “enough”
Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of “cup.”
My advice is—give it up!

stupid....why eat a bhut jolokia?

2010-07-14T09:19:00.001+08:00

EMBED-Kid Eats Hottest Chili In The World - Watch more free videos

jean-luc is a logo!

2010-07-14T09:17:00.001+08:00

the ultimate in...

2010-07-14T09:16:00.001+08:00

...cooler boxes. it even transports the owner!

this sounds like quite a...

2010-07-14T09:15:00.001+08:00

...fun old folks' home!

ah, the crucial difference!

2010-07-14T09:14:00.002+08:00

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Dodge SRT-4 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in the shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the SRT.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in and, when I finish it works just like new.”

“So how is it I make only $39,000 a year, a pretty small salary, and you get the really big bucks, $1.6 million, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic…

“Try doing it with the engine running.”