Wednesday, June 25, 2008
imagination
some of these are darn funny!
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER:
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER:
“Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? OY! Styling gel, Mousse, Something…?”
COLUMBUS’ MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered, You still could have written!”
MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER:
“Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER:
“All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”
MARY’S MOTHER:
“I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school. But, I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER:
“The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”
PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.”
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER:
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER:
“Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? OY! Styling gel, Mousse, Something…?”
COLUMBUS’ MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered, You still could have written!”
MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER:
“Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER:
“All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”
MARY’S MOTHER:
“I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school. But, I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER:
“The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”
PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.”
america has wayyyy too many...
...litigious people...such a brazen hussy wanting to get rich quick...
Woman sues Victoria's Secret for 'thong injury'
A woman who says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip flew off and hit her in the eye has sued Victoria's Secret, saying in a TV interview on Thursday that the injury caused her "excruciating pain."
Macrida Patterson, a 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer, told NBC's "Today" show that she suffered cuts to her cornea from the small piece of metal that had been used to secure a rhinestone heart onto the blue thong.
"I was putting on my underwear from Victoria's Secret and the metal popped in my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That's what happened,"
Woman sues Victoria's Secret for 'thong injury'
A woman who says she was hurt by her thong panties when a metal clip flew off and hit her in the eye has sued Victoria's Secret, saying in a TV interview on Thursday that the injury caused her "excruciating pain."
Macrida Patterson, a 52-year-old Los Angeles traffic officer, told NBC's "Today" show that she suffered cuts to her cornea from the small piece of metal that had been used to secure a rhinestone heart onto the blue thong.
"I was putting on my underwear from Victoria's Secret and the metal popped in my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That's what happened,"
Monday, June 23, 2008
congratulations mr and mrs tay...
...yours was a day that i had been waiting on for a long time...and i am sure our mutual friends as well...it's about blardy time!and my oh my, what a rocking wedding it was...talk about wayyyyyy too much alcohol
i really dun recall the last time i saw so many merlions...i had a great time and i am sure that everyone did as well...so here's wishing the both of you a blessed union and marital bliss...hope you guys make lotsa babies in bali...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
itchiness
aiyooooo!!!! slurpalicious...whilst at the tackle shop last evening to pick up my newly-serviced reels in preparation for the upcoming aur/dayang fishing trip (and re-lining them with braided as well), i was introduced to the SHIMANO Torium 20 levelwind reels....
and instantly i am besotted...the reel's pretty decently priced (around the mid 200s) with a whole load of down-to-earth and very useful specs on a really attractive aluminium frame and it calls out to me like no other, like a sweet siren voice wafting on the sea breeze...
well, if my olde faithful Chartered Special gives up the ghost anytime soon (hopefully not during the trip though...CHOY!!!), this will definitely be way up there in the contention stakes for the replacement...perfect for jigging and more than adequate for a spot of live-baiting as well...would probably fit about 400m of 50 pound braided and able to punch well above its weight...niceeeeeeee!
the marketing spiel sezzzz
The lightweight Torium® is a solidly-built star-drag saltwater reel perfect for live bait or bottom-fishing applications. Packed with features like Super Stopper®, Dartanium® Drag, A-RB® (Anti-Rust Bearings) and High Efficiency Gearing (HEG®), the Torium has it where it counts. Now available in sizes from the lightweight and compact 14 to the heavy-duty 50, with its 440-yard line capacity and 30 pounds of drag.
* Features Diecast Aluminum Frame
* Stamped Aluminum Right Sideplate
* Aluminum Braced Graphite Non-Handle Side Plate
* Aluminum Spool
* Manual Clutch Lever
* Rod Clamp
* Ergonomic Power Handle (50 only)
* Three-Position Power Grip (16, 20, & 30 only)
* Adjustable Handle Shank
poignancy
whilst switching radio stations this morning on the drive to work, i happened across a old song which i sort of had forgotten about and wow, it still sounds as fresh as ever...a song about growing up, a song about the best and the worse of times, a song about being seventeen and all the challenges that age poses...
how utter poignant and how heartfelt the way Janis Ian sings AT SEVENTEEN...
soooo, what were you doing at 17???
Ian Janis Lyrics
At Seventeen Lyrics
how utter poignant and how heartfelt the way Janis Ian sings AT SEVENTEEN...
soooo, what were you doing at 17???
Ian Janis Lyrics
At Seventeen Lyrics
Monday, June 16, 2008
a major rant...
it's blardy hilarious!!!
"Dear sir
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! SHIT!
I apologize, I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin’ there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60.
Would it be so complicated to have all the services i n the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You’d rather have us running all over te fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (fuckin’ morons). Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA !
Sincerely,
You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who."
"Dear sir
I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! SHIT!
I apologize, I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin’ there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60.
Would it be so complicated to have all the services i n the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You’d rather have us running all over te fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?! (fuckin’ morons). Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA !
Sincerely,
You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who."
Sunday, June 15, 2008
kungfooey!
finally managed to persuade my darling to go with me to go watch the latest Dreamworks animated project KUNG FU PANDA, featuring the voices of Jack Black (in the title role), Dustin Hoffmann, Angelina Jolie and Jackie Chan amongst many others...she was afraid i'd embarrass her by breaking out into uncontrolled chortling and cackling during the movie, but in a rare moment of weakness, she succumbed!
and yes, i did completely and utterly crack up during the movie...it's been a long time since i have laughed so hard...in fact, my sides are still aching big time from all the "exercise" yesterday afternoon...
the nuances of every expression on Po's face perfectly match that of Black's, so much that i can picture their faces merging into one...just fantastic! i mean, the movie's a bit cliched and all and you can predict what'll happen 20 minutes down the road but it's done in such high spirits and sheer effervescence that one doesn't begrudge it the fun at all...
simply outstanding for me...an definitive 8/10
checking out a megatrailer below that someone cobbled together from the resources available online...the chap did a pretty damned good job, if i may say so meself...
Friday, June 13, 2008
white-hot muzak
...from the Manchester-based duo THE TING TINGS, comes this little ditty that shot to the top of the charts and booted Madonna's 4 Minutes from the #1 spot.
THAT'S NOT MY NAME is a fantastically catchy tune which channels Toni Basil with more than a hint of the punkish attitude of Debbie Harry...and it does help that in the vid, Katie White resembles a younger, very much hotter version of that blonde slinkster...
aiyo, i think i am in lust...HAWTTT!!!
check out the vid below.
The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name
The Ting Tings Lyrics
That's Not My Name Lyrics
Thursday, June 12, 2008
no time to blog, people...
...unfortunately, i have been blinded and overwhelmed by a shitstorm of work... crap crap crap 
hope to be back sometime soon... *gulp*
hope to be back sometime soon... *gulp*Wednesday, June 11, 2008
a quiet 6th year celebration
went to gunther's @ purvis street on monday for dinner to celebrate the 6 year wedding anniversary...my oh my the food was good...i went into paroxysms of ecstasy with every mouthful...
was actually intending beforehand to convince mrs kona to share a 2 person rack of kurobuta pork wif me...but unfortunately not available...
ended up with
everything was excellent but the kurobuta pork shoulder was out of this world...i'd go back just for that, for sure...
too full after that for dessert, but we ended up @ TCC for blue mountain coffee...a fab end to a wonderful night of dining...
would have loved to have take photos (even with a lousy cameraphone) BUT the damn phone chose sunday to completely and utterly go berserk...gotta send the fella in for a service...and my spare phone has no camera...damn...
was actually intending beforehand to convince mrs kona to share a 2 person rack of kurobuta pork wif me...but unfortunately not available...
ended up with
- home-made torchon of foie gras with seasonal fruit compote - shared
- pan-fried brittany langoustine with fresh tarragon and salted french butter - shared
- consumme of pigeon, warm egg yolk, champignon de paris - shared
- angel-hair pasta, chili monte poro, kombu, dried prawns, chives - mine
- coquille of pasta, grilled kurobuta pork shoulder, truffle juice, parmesan cheese - hers
everything was excellent but the kurobuta pork shoulder was out of this world...i'd go back just for that, for sure...
too full after that for dessert, but we ended up @ TCC for blue mountain coffee...a fab end to a wonderful night of dining...
would have loved to have take photos (even with a lousy cameraphone) BUT the damn phone chose sunday to completely and utterly go berserk...gotta send the fella in for a service...and my spare phone has no camera...damn...
Monday, June 09, 2008
a pee-in-your-pants moment...
...imagine you are kayaking along happily, not a care in the world...and then look up to see.....
six
...yep, count 'em...six years since my beloved and i tied the knot...as of yesterday...
and truth be told, it still boggles my mind that i could have gotten so lucky in life...to have such a wonderful partner, lover and friend...i am truly blessed...
i look forward to the years ahead as we become ever closer as a couple...love you darling!
oooh, and i am looking forward to the dinner @ gunther's tonight...
and truth be told, it still boggles my mind that i could have gotten so lucky in life...to have such a wonderful partner, lover and friend...i am truly blessed...
i look forward to the years ahead as we become ever closer as a couple...love you darling!
oooh, and i am looking forward to the dinner @ gunther's tonight...
Friday, June 06, 2008
get smart!
In one episode of ‘Cheers’, Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm.I don’t think I’ve ever heard the concept explained any better than this.
‘Well you see, Norm, it’s like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first .
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.’
drink more beer!!!
vindication!!!
To my friends who enjoy a glass of libation..And those who don’t.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in faeces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, Whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and /or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine/Beer = Health
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service.
To my friends who enjoy a glass of libation..And those who don’t.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in faeces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, Whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and /or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine/Beer = Health
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service.
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