bad night out, mate...

i see someone didn't make it back to his bed

best divorce letter in the world!

read it...it's frickin' excellent!

dirty names in sports...for real!

Top Ten Dirtiest Names in Sports

There are real names folks!

10. Gregor Fucka (Italian basketball player)
9. B.J. Johnson (wide receiver for Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
8. Pete LaCock (played baseball with Cubs and Royals)
7. Danny Shittu (football player in England)
6. Harry Colon (played football for Lions, Patriots and Jaguars)
5. Lucious Pusey (linebacker for Eastern Illinois Panthers)
4. Dick Pole (played baseball for the Red sox and Mariners)
3. Dean Windass (striker for Bradford City in England)
2. Misty Hyman (Gold medalist in 2000 Olympics for swimming)
1. Rusty Kuntz (played baseball for White sox, Twins and Tigers)

see HERE for more details on these illustrious names

procrastination defined

question...

...cos she smells like the seats of a new car

damn blardy cute cartoon...dumb...but funny...

hilarious!

my 1000th posting on the blog...

hurray hurray....for what i have no clue

A vibrator for your iPod

The OhMiBod vibrator is a whole new way to enjoy your iPod® or any other music player. Everyone loves music. Everyone loves sex. OhMiBod combines music and pleasure to create the ultimate acsexsory™ to your iPod.

Simply plug OhMiBod into your iPod® or any music player and it automatically vibrates to the rhythm and intensity of the music. Let your body feel the vibrations as you get down with your favorite tunes. The combination of listening and feeling your music quickly transports you to a place where music, mind and body come together to create an unbeatable sexual experience.

and the best thing is, it's only us$69 (geddit?)...see HERE

just pondering...

• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
• What is the speed of darkness?
• Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
• If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
• If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
• Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
• Do you cry under water?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
• Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
• Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?
• Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

innovative product #2

A liquid condom? What the heck?

China has approved and now is selling liquid condoms.

This condom (unlike its predecessor) is designed for female rather than male usage. The condom-in-a-can is essentially an foam spray that the manufacturer claims forms a physical membrane inside the vagina, protecting it from infection, acting as a barrier to pregnancy and providing a lubricating effect.

This is also more than ‘functional’ than a traditional condom. It can effectively kill gynaecological disease pathogens such as staphylococcus aureus, Candida, coliform bacillus, and can prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

“It can remain in the vagina for a long time without destroying the vagina's chemical balance," the company adds. "Daily use of this product can help maintain genital hygiene and prevent infection by pathogens".

read more HERE

innovative product #1

'Spray-on condoms' hitting the market in 2008?

German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes. Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, told Reuters Thursday the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.

"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said. "We're very serious."

Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' -- once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash." Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. He said it would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip.

However, before the new condom can be sold in shops, the firm must ensure that the latex is evenly spread when sprayed, as well as optimize the vulcanization process. Krause hopes the high tech condom, which will be available in different strengths and colors, will on the market by 2008.

He said the spray can would likely cost some 20 euros ($26) as a one-off purchase. The latex cartridges -- sufficient for up to 20 applications -- would cost roughly 10 euros, he said.

Krause said he had hit upon the idea when considering the difficulties some people faced using condoms, and drew inspiration from spray-on plasters now used in medicine.

read more HERE

everyone...repeat with me....BOMB

shit, i'll give you 1 to 100 odds that it'll bomb like a dead pooch...how could they even think a lowlife like fedex could do a TV show??? are they mental???


Us Magazine has confirmed that Britney Spears' soon-to-be ex, Kevin Federline, 28, is in talks to develop his own reality series.

House of Carters Executive Producer Kenneth Crear tells Us exclusively that he is currently working on producing a reality show with K-Fed.

"It's true," Crear tells Us, adding that he just started negotiations with partner Billy Rainey and Kevin Federline's manager on Monday. "We are in talks about this. Kevin came to me because he liked the way I shot the House of Carters series and the way I made Nick Carter look real and trustworthy. I gave people a different perspective of him and made people really respect him."

Crear also confirms that they are looking at "one or two" different networks, but insists the project is just as the beginning stages.

"Kevin doesn't dislike or hate Britney," Crear tells Us. "The show will show him for who he is but [will] not smear her. It was just a marriage that didn't work out, but it will show who he is beyond that."

Crear also says they are looking at an eight episode deal that will be shot over three months, but they haven't started shopping it around yet.

read more HERE

holy crap that's a big screen!

siemens ultra large screen, apparently made from 8 LCDs...what's incredible is how seamless the image is...wooot!!!

seen HERE

i want this for christmas!!!

perfect for the modern man!

that was an easy birth...

Mom gives birth, goes down a toilet? WTF?

A baby was trapped down a toliet for seven hours after being born prematurely.

The mum was crouched over the hole-in-the-floor loo when her waters broke — and the baby popped out. The tot plunged out of sight, its umbilical cord still attached.

The mum screamed for help and doctors, plumbers and firemen raced against time to save the tot. A special camera was put into the drain to check the child’s position, and it was carefully pulled free.

The baby was resuscitated and rushed to hospital in Changzhou, China. An onlooker said: “The woman was almost uncontrollable at first.

“It was touch and go. The baby wasn’t in a good way when they got it out, but luckily they were able to save it.” Last night mum and baby were doing well.

read the article (with pictures) HERE

[NSFW] Amy Smart Rocks!

good grief! what did i miss by not watching this movie??!!?!! ok, gotta go to the DVD library soooooooon!

Lionsgate's latest project 'Crank' , starring Englishman Jason Statham is about a hit man who has been injected with a poison that kills him once his heart rate drops below a certain point. So his girl friend played by Amy Smart, being the great gal that she is, figures that the best thing to keep his blood a pumpin' is to give a little CPR to Jason's willie during a high speed chase while the two are being shot at.


Further on, said proctagonist is in need a quickie in order to keep his heart rate going but the only problem is that he's in the middle of a carnival and all the portapodies seem to be occupied. So does he do? Well just like what any good drunk horny frat boy would do to a sleeping "good friend", Jason savagely forces himself onto his girlfriend, played by Amy Smart, and enthusiastically performs in-front of dozens of cheering asians.

crusty ole clint

following up from HERE

for a person that's made a career out of playing tough guys in dirty harry and countless spaghetti westerns, actor-turned-director clint eastwood has quite a well developed sensitive side...i am rather surprised at this, to say the least...over the weekend, i watched 2 of this recent movies, namely MILLION DOLLAR BABY (co-starring hilary swank and morgan freeman) and FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS (starring ryan philippe, adam beach and jesse bradford)...


watched FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS in the movies on friday night...this retelling of the happenings on iwo jima during the turning of the tide of the pacific war, it is emotionally stirring in some places, eye-opening in others, and a well-told story all the way through...it nixes cheap sensationalism to cut to the core of war's grisly realities...an astute study of the futility of war, the hyprocrisy of governments and the emptiness behind the label of "hero"...for me, the 2 standouts were jesse bradford as rene gagnon and adam beach as "chief" ira hayes...bradford's character is more subtle in its various shades as the soldier using his fame to get out of the warzone into the rear echelon whereas beach's american indian suffers through his disinclination to be labelled as a hero of the war when all he did was be in the right place at the wrong time, ultimately leading to his disillusionment with the hypocrisy of the bond drive...the startlingly casual racism in american of that age is also clearly defined and starkly shown, sad to say...well, overall i'd give it a 7.5 outta 10...it's not a feelgood rah rah type of movie but something much more pointed and thought-provoking...


MILLION DOLLAR BABY's a small movie with a very personal feel to it...in turns heart-warming and then heart-wrenching, both clint and hilary turn in rather spectacular performances...he as the gruff trainer frankie and she as the aspiring up and comer boxer maggie...what appears to be merely a boxing movie is actually a very intimate and tragic study on dealing with guilt, responsibility for risk and personal drive...very much driven not by the boxing action but the human drama itself...i was quite blown away by the subtle nuances and the deft touch shown by the actors' portrayal...7.5 outta 10 for me too...

really??? good grief...

presenting....the slippery DICK (ladies who might be offended, you might wanna avert your eyes)...














scroll a bit lower if you please...

















gotcha!

strange sign

wonder if the fish is biting or sucking? and was there bait down there?

bad bad way to go!

sheeeeeeet!!! i always knew pigs were omnivorous but a human as food???


Delhi boy eaten by herd of pigs

A three-year-old boy has been eaten alive by a neighbour's herd of pigs on the outskirts of the Indian capital, Delhi, police say.

The boy, Ajay, strayed from the family home as his parents and other family members were having lunch.

When his mother went to look for him, she found the pigs chewing something and spotted bits of her son's clothing. She threw stones at the animals but they turned on her. Her screams alerted neighbours who came to her rescue.

A senior police official, Manish Aggarwal, said a local man who owned the pigs had been detained for causing death due to negligence.

read more HERE

alamak, i feel damn ashamed now

wah jang!!!!! this ole lady is a silent killer!!!


94-year-old legally blind woman, bowls a 244!

Esther Medley of Centralia is legally blind, but when she bowls she can glimpse a bit of the floor to line up with the lane.

Medley, 94, can't see straight ahead, so her 86-year-old husband Ralph tells her which pins are left after her first ball.

That's how Medley recently bowled a score of 244, which included eight strikes, at Fairway Lanes in Centralia. It was the second-highest score of the year for her league. The Medleys have been bowling in the senior league since 1979.

article HERE

as enduring images go, this is it!

for those who know their military history, the raising of the american flag over mount suribachi on iwo jima is an iconic moment in marine corp history...one that has been immortalised in bronze in rosslyn, virginia near the arlington national cemetery, in memory to all the USMC personnel that have died in defense of their country since 1775...

tonight, mrs kona and i will be watching the 1st part of clint eastwood's 2-part take on one of the bloodiest battles in the whole of world war 2 on iwo jima (click HERE for the wiki entry)...the first is FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS which is from the american point of view and the second (to be released in a couple of months' time) is LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA which, as an obvious contrast, will be from the japanese point of view...

there are no rights and wrong point of views in the movies, so hearsay goes...just how the horrors of war afflict those who are involved...leaving unseen scars which cut deep into the soul...

several trailers of the movie can be found HERE

a little background into the movie...

Flags of Our Fathers is based on a New York Times Bestseller book (year 2000) of the same name and is about a man’s quest to learn more about his father, a medical corpsman in WWII at the Battle of Iwo Jima. More than 22,000 Japanese soldiers would die defending a patch of ground a third the size of Manhattan, while nearly 26,000 Americans fell taking it from them. The battle, the largest sea armada invasion ever assembled and the costliest war ever fought by the US Marines, was also a turning point in the war because control of the island of Iwo Jima (Japanese territory) allowed Allied forces to launch B-29 bomber raids into the heart of Japan with the eventual dropping of the Atomic Bomb that would end WWII.

The battle would produce one of World War II’s most enduring images: a photograph of five Marines and a Navy Corpsman raising an American flag on the top of Mount Suribachi, the island’s commanding high point.

The heart of the book centers around the tragic life stories of the six men who raised the flag that February day–one an Arizona Indian who would die following an alcohol-soaked brawl, another a Kentucky hillbilly, still another a Pennsylvania steel-mill worker–and who became reluctant heroes in the bargain.

Like the book, the movie is expected to focus on what happened to the men after the famous battle. The men in the photo–three were killed during the battle–were proclaimed heroes and flown home, to become reluctant symbols. For two of them, the adulation was shattering. Only John Bradley truly survived, displaying no copy of the famous photograph in his home, telling his son only: “The real heroes of Iwo Jima were the guys who didn’t come back."

absolutely mesmerising jessica biel

ooh la laaaa

what do you get...

wanker...that's the only way to describe...

this moron on the left...endangering the lives of all others on the road...i say lock the bugger up for good! some more he was juiced up on drugs...




Legless driver in 80mph car chase

A double amputee has been jailed for a year after leading police on a high-speed car pursuit, using modified broom handles to control the vehicle.

The three-mile chase ended when Robert Bate crashed through a fence near Hawthorn, County Durham, in January. When officers examined his automatic Vauxhall Astra they found the wooden poles taped to the pedals.

Bate, 27, of Seventh Street, Blackhall, admitted dangerous driving when he appeared at Newcastle Crown Court.

Bate, who lost his legs in a rail accident when he was aged nine, had traces of heroin and cocaine in his blood at the time of the incident.

read more HERE

the golf gti vs the megane rs vs the astra vxr

for refinement and build quality, the golf
for sheer drivability and unique looks, the meg
for the beng looks and zingiest engine, the astra

can't they bloody combine all these aspects into 1 single car????