thanks esquire!!!!
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Friday, January 15, 2010
blake lively's legs in leggings...
...are enuff to make the inside of my pants spontaneously combust.
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ashley greene needs me to spank her
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Here’s Ashley Greene in some kind of bondage/fetish photoshoot for Interview Magazine. Would it be wrong for me to say I’d like to spank her? Obviously not hard. Just a little tap. Better yet, I wouldn’t mind being bent of her knee.
i'm listening to...
....Green Day's GIVE ME NOVACAINE...off their previous (7th) album American Idiot...
vunderbar this!
Lyrics | Green Day Lyrics | Give Me Novacaine Lyrics
vunderbar this!
Lyrics | Green Day Lyrics | Give Me Novacaine Lyrics
Thursday, January 14, 2010
and he thought he was safe...
yeepers...
Jellyfish stings fisherman 25 metres above sea
A man has been stung by an irukandji jellyfish when he was splashed with seawater while fishing from a bulk carrier off north Queensland.
The 45-year-old Filipino man was in a "distressed and very agitated state" following the incident - which occurred 25 metres above sea level at Abbot Point north of Bowen late yesterday afternoon.
The RACQ - CQ Rescue helicopter was tasked to the Singaporean-registered bulk carrier Konmax where crew immediately provided pain relief to the victim. After some initial communication difficulties because of his distress, the crew was able to determine the patient had been fishing from the ship when the sting occurred.
Air crewman Geoff Abrahams said it was an "incredible case". "Realistically, what are the chances of being stung by a jellyfish when you are safely on board a bulk carrier, 25 metres above the water," Mr Abrahams said. "This is one of the most fascinating tasks I've worked on." He said it was not clear if the jellyfish was in the water that splashed him or on his fishing line when he brought it out of the water.
Irukandji are very small stingers – measuring up to 2cm in diameter with four thin tentacles hanging down. The victim was airlifted to Mackay Hospital where it was confirmed he was suffering the effects of an irukandji sting.
via
Jellyfish stings fisherman 25 metres above sea
A man has been stung by an irukandji jellyfish when he was splashed with seawater while fishing from a bulk carrier off north Queensland.
The 45-year-old Filipino man was in a "distressed and very agitated state" following the incident - which occurred 25 metres above sea level at Abbot Point north of Bowen late yesterday afternoon.
The RACQ - CQ Rescue helicopter was tasked to the Singaporean-registered bulk carrier Konmax where crew immediately provided pain relief to the victim. After some initial communication difficulties because of his distress, the crew was able to determine the patient had been fishing from the ship when the sting occurred.
Air crewman Geoff Abrahams said it was an "incredible case". "Realistically, what are the chances of being stung by a jellyfish when you are safely on board a bulk carrier, 25 metres above the water," Mr Abrahams said. "This is one of the most fascinating tasks I've worked on." He said it was not clear if the jellyfish was in the water that splashed him or on his fishing line when he brought it out of the water.
Irukandji are very small stingers – measuring up to 2cm in diameter with four thin tentacles hanging down. The victim was airlifted to Mackay Hospital where it was confirmed he was suffering the effects of an irukandji sting.
via
egg on face!!! big time FAIL!!!
after all that touting, to have it break on TV....oooooh man...
Reporter breaks an 'unbreakable' mobile phone at CES
Reporter Dan Simmons from the BBC's technology show Click managed to break a mobile phone marketed as "unbreakable", during a demonstration at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
via
Reporter breaks an 'unbreakable' mobile phone at CES
Reporter Dan Simmons from the BBC's technology show Click managed to break a mobile phone marketed as "unbreakable", during a demonstration at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
via
question is...is the blood alcohol-infused?
if i had the blood transfused into me, would i be drunk, right off?
Bloodmobile expanding 'beer for-blood' offer
A Tacoma-based blood center offers donors a deal: Give a pint of blood, get a pint of beer.
Cascade Regional Blood Services says the promotion has worked so well at six Tacoma pubs and breweries, it's expanding its "Give blood, get beer" offer to its bloodmobile for pubs in Federal Way and Steilacoom.
Organizers say it takes all types of blood donors giving at all times to meet the demands. "We're thinking, 'pint for pint.' Its fun. we can get a new donor group," said Lauren Buchholz of Cascade Regional Blood Services.
The mobile blood takes blood, and hands out coupons for a free, cold pint. It's a fun swap and an opportunity to tap into a crowd that could help. Only 37 percent of the population is eligible to donate blood, and just 5 percent of those eligible do.
"I hate it every time but I do it, because it's for the babies," said one blood donor Lejuana Tennyson. Tennyson gives blood every two months. Hers is a rare blend off blood that newborns need. But the experience makes her cringe, and she brings a book and looks the other way.
For her, the promise of a free beer doesn't make things any more pleasant. "Seems like such a strange combination - give blood drink beer," she said, laughing. "I guess for some, it would help."
via
Bloodmobile expanding 'beer for-blood' offer
A Tacoma-based blood center offers donors a deal: Give a pint of blood, get a pint of beer.
Cascade Regional Blood Services says the promotion has worked so well at six Tacoma pubs and breweries, it's expanding its "Give blood, get beer" offer to its bloodmobile for pubs in Federal Way and Steilacoom.
Organizers say it takes all types of blood donors giving at all times to meet the demands. "We're thinking, 'pint for pint.' Its fun. we can get a new donor group," said Lauren Buchholz of Cascade Regional Blood Services.
The mobile blood takes blood, and hands out coupons for a free, cold pint. It's a fun swap and an opportunity to tap into a crowd that could help. Only 37 percent of the population is eligible to donate blood, and just 5 percent of those eligible do.
"I hate it every time but I do it, because it's for the babies," said one blood donor Lejuana Tennyson. Tennyson gives blood every two months. Hers is a rare blend off blood that newborns need. But the experience makes her cringe, and she brings a book and looks the other way.
For her, the promise of a free beer doesn't make things any more pleasant. "Seems like such a strange combination - give blood drink beer," she said, laughing. "I guess for some, it would help."
via
short arm of the law
Introducing Britain's smallest policeman
He has heard all the jokes of course ‑ the short arm of the law is probably the most common insult the wits and drunks enjoy slinging his way. But PC Robin Port, believed to be Britain's smallest policeman, insisted today that what he lacked in height he made up in fitness and strength.
And, anyway, the 5ft constable said he was able to catch very big criminals off guard by tackling their legs.
For years most forces in Britain stipulated that male officers had to be close to 6ft. Forces gradually relaxed their restrictions and there are now no minimum height requirements. Former soldier Port, 29, joined Devon and Cornwall police last year and in his first month on the beat made 17 arrests.
At a media briefing yesterday Port said: "When it comes to jokes about being short I have heard them all before. I've heard the odd comment from the public but most of them come from people who are drunk and incoherent. I have learned that if people want to make an offensive comment towards a police officer they will find something to pick on, be it too short, too tall or having ginger hair or glasses. I am very confident I can hold my own. I have martial arts training so I don't see myself as more at risk than any other police officer. I've got quite a thick skin which is a requirement in this job. The uniform still carries with it a lot of authority. In a situation where I might be faced with a huge, 7ft bloke, their size also makes them vulnerable as I could sweep their legs out." Port, based in Tiverton, Devon, said: "Of the arrests I have made there have been people of all sizes and shapes. This has not once posed an issue."
via
now that IS some tantrum!
quite spectacular...too much in fact...
Woman charged after throwing tantrum over burger
Jackson County prosecutors charged a woman with property damage Tuesday for allegedly tearing up a McDonald’s lobby after being served a “messed up” cheeseburger.
Kansas City police arrested Alesha McMullen, 19, on the felony charge Sunday at an apartment where she was hiding in a closet, according to court records. She was identified through calls to the TIPS Hotline after police released video surveillance of the Dec. 27 outburst at the restaurant at 3255 Main St.
According to police, McMullen ordered the cheeseburger snack wrap, a newer menu item, but received a regular cheeseburger. Employees made another burger for her, but she allegedly refused it and demanded a refund.
After employees said no, she allegedly threw a water dispenser and a plastic wet floor sign over the counter before knocking three cash registers off the counter, breaking one. Damage was estimated at $3,000.
When questioned by police, McMullen admitted throwing things because the restaurant messed up her order, court records say. Detectives said McMullen said she was having a “bad day.”
via
Woman charged after throwing tantrum over burger
Jackson County prosecutors charged a woman with property damage Tuesday for allegedly tearing up a McDonald’s lobby after being served a “messed up” cheeseburger.
Kansas City police arrested Alesha McMullen, 19, on the felony charge Sunday at an apartment where she was hiding in a closet, according to court records. She was identified through calls to the TIPS Hotline after police released video surveillance of the Dec. 27 outburst at the restaurant at 3255 Main St.
According to police, McMullen ordered the cheeseburger snack wrap, a newer menu item, but received a regular cheeseburger. Employees made another burger for her, but she allegedly refused it and demanded a refund.
After employees said no, she allegedly threw a water dispenser and a plastic wet floor sign over the counter before knocking three cash registers off the counter, breaking one. Damage was estimated at $3,000.
When questioned by police, McMullen admitted throwing things because the restaurant messed up her order, court records say. Detectives said McMullen said she was having a “bad day.”
via
"we need to put sandbags on that girl..."
literally, blown away!
TV stations love to send reporters out to report in severe weather. We’ve seen them doing live shots in hurricanes, blizzards, etc. Here’s one from KGW/Portland a couple of days ago during a wind storm with gusts that reached 100mph. The assignment desk sent one of their reporters, Keely Chalmers, to Crown Point, one of the highest spots in town, for a story on what it felt like to be in that much wind. They probably should have sent someone a little sturdier…
TV stations love to send reporters out to report in severe weather. We’ve seen them doing live shots in hurricanes, blizzards, etc. Here’s one from KGW/Portland a couple of days ago during a wind storm with gusts that reached 100mph. The assignment desk sent one of their reporters, Keely Chalmers, to Crown Point, one of the highest spots in town, for a story on what it felt like to be in that much wind. They probably should have sent someone a little sturdier…
*laffing fit to burst*
Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women.
They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the “Clitaurus.”
It comes in pink, with or without fur on the dash, and the average male thief won’t be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.
it would behoove one to...
...read the fine print!
well at least it's unsalted...gotta be more healthy than the alternative, right?
well at least it's unsalted...gotta be more healthy than the alternative, right?
lateral thinking
Ever since I was a child, I’ve had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him, ‘I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.’
‘Just put yourself in my hands for one year,’ said the shrink. ‘Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..’
‘How much do you charge?’ ‘Eighty dollars per visit,’ replied the doctor. ‘I’ll sleep on it,’ I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. ‘Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?’ he asked.
‘Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!’
‘Is that so!’ With a bit of an attitude he said, ‘and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?’
‘He told me to cut the legs off the bed! – Ain’t nobody under there now!!!’
‘Just put yourself in my hands for one year,’ said the shrink. ‘Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..’
‘How much do you charge?’ ‘Eighty dollars per visit,’ replied the doctor. ‘I’ll sleep on it,’ I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. ‘Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?’ he asked.
‘Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!’
‘Is that so!’ With a bit of an attitude he said, ‘and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?’
‘He told me to cut the legs off the bed! – Ain’t nobody under there now!!!’
i've actually done this before!
...except it was in a flood...took off my suede shoes to preserve them and waded around with my feet in plastic bags...
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