the musings of a fishing lure

Saturday, October 28, 2006

kona's desert island discs 1

SONGS FROM THE BIG CHAIR - TEARS FOR FEARS
timeless brit pop....standouts are of course SHOUT, HEAD OVER HEELS and EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD...

DISCOGRAPHY - PET SHOP BOYS
another spearhead of the brit invasion...this album has the 1st 18 singles on 1 disc in chronological order...as such, it is a terrific CD to buy as your 1st PSB album...it offers a kickass overview of their material...infectious, unadulterated fun and intelligent music at its finest...

THE GREATEST HITS - DURAN DURAN
the band that gave us THE REFLEX and other glam-pop ditties like HUNGRY LIKE A WOLF, RIO, GIRLS ON FILM, PLANET EARTH, ELECTRIC BARBARELLA et al..the vanguard of the brit invasion of the 80s...the fab five...what more can i say...simply can't do without it!

POP! - ERASURE
club dance-techno-pop classic from the duo of vince clarke (formerly of depeche mode) and andy bell (formerly of the communards)...listen to THE CIRCUS...a damning critique of the issues with technology...a mainstay of the retro movement ;)

DEPECHE MODE - 101
if one hasn't heard of the pre-eminent electronica band of the 80s, then where have you been? as an introduction to dave gahan, martin gore and the rest, i implore u...please....have a listen to this one...

CHRONICLES - CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL
classic southern blues rock n roll band which had their heyday in the late 60s...go listen, i guarantee you will enjoy it...

BREAD - THE BEST OF
david gates and the rest of the gang were nigh on geniuses...genuinely hummable and sublime melodies...

HELL FREEZES OVER - THE EAGLES
the comeback album from the masters of AOR...this is recorded as DDD format...clarity is superb and soundstaging is excellent...the live version of HOTEL CALIFORNIA deserves its place in the lists of modern classics...for all fans of the eagles, you cannot do without this one...

RATTLE AND HUM - U2
another classic from U2...check out their version of the bob dylan classic ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER...stupifyingly good :D

THE JOSHUA TREE - U2
still THE U2 album for me...seminal...unbelievable guitar riffs from the Edge and Bono's incredible vocals...how to go wrong buying this one???

Friday, October 27, 2006

check before you engage...

shuttle launch...

...as seen from the International Space Station

now u tell me!

seems someone found out the hard way

an extra anus can kill!

"glugged up"!!! how descriptive!!

Extra anus kills four-legged chick

Forzie the Te Uku-bred Barnevelder chick - hatched at Marlene Dickey's property at the start of last month - has died.

But it wasn't the extra legs that led to its death, more likely an extra anus, Mrs Dickey believes.

"He developed two bottoms and I think he got glugged up," she said.

He was found dead on Friday and is now in the Dickeys' freezer waiting to be stuffed.

read more HERE

more idiocy

unbelievable!

The following is from the British Sunday Express giving Gongs (medals) for dubious distinctions:

Tortoise Trophy
To British Rail, which ingeniously solved the problem of lateness in the InterCity express train service by redefining "on time" to include trains arriving within one hour of schedule.

Rubber Cushion
To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his hemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.

Crimewatch Cup Gold star:
To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with a stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith." His lawyer told the court: "My client is not a very bright young man."

Silver star:
To Michael Robinson, who rang police to deliver a bomb threat, but became so agitated about the mounting cost of the call that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left his phone number.

Bronze star:
To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on the side.

British Cup
To the passengers on a jam-packed train from Margate to Victoria, who averted their eyes while John Henderson and Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral sex and then moved on to intercourse ... but complained when the pair lit up post-coital cigarettes in a nonsmoking compartment.

Flying Cross
To Percy the Pigeon, who flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft, having beaten 1,000 rivals in a 500 mile race, and was immediately eaten by a cat. Alas, the 90-minute delay resulting from finding his remains and handing his ID tag to the judges relegated Percy from first to third place.

Lazarus Laurel
To Julia Carson, who as her tearful family gathered 'round her coffin in a New York funeral parlour, sat bolt upright and asked what the hell was going on. Celebrations were short-lived, due to the fact that Mrs. Carson's daughter, Julie, immediately dropped dead from shock.

Silver Bullet
To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

dumb, dumber, dumberer

the idiocy!

A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

A man in Clifton, Colorado apparently got so caught up in his "Tomb Raider" computer game that he forgot he wasn't supposed to use a real gun. Sheriff's deputies confiscated Douglas Miller's shotgun after he fired it at his computer screen.

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

Richard Stone of Cheddar, England somehow managed to get trapped when his own van rolled over him and pinned him to the ground. Stone cried out for help, but no one heard him -- no one except Sonny, a macaw parrot who lives nearby. When Sonny began to mimic the man's cries for help, two passers-by heard the parrot and freed Stone.

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system."

A man in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing 46 teaspoons, 2 cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.

More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship badly enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the would-be space travelers were told to spend their "next vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples and painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available.". Authorities believe that the con men running this scam made off with over six million dollars.

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead, and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill, and stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

A 25-year-old Argentine man pushed his 20-year-old wife out of an eighth-floor window after an argument, but her fall was broken when her legs became entangled in power lines below. A police spokesperson told the state-run Telam news agency that when the husband saw the woman dangling beneath him, he apparently tried to throw himself on top of her to finish her off. He missed, however, and fell to his death. Meanwhile, the woman managed to swing over to a nearby balcony and was saved.

Pierre Beaumard, a French factory worker suffering from various obsessional fears and an inability to relate to others, decided to join a therapy group. Mr. Beaumard was encouraged to sandwich himself between two matresses, and allow other group members to walk on him to "stamp out his complexes." After several minutes of this treatment, Beaumard was crushed to death.

In our Likely Story department this week, the crew of a trawler that sank in the Sea of Japan claimed their ship went down after "being struck by a cow which fell out of the clear blue sky". According to Flying magazine, no one believed this absurd explanation-- except the Russian military. It seems that the crew of a military cargo jet had stolen a cow they found wandering on a Siberian airfield, and loaded it aboard. While cruising at 30,000 feet, the terrified cow ran amok and jumped out of the plane.

Florida motorists are watching their rear-view mirrors this week after an appellate court ruled that rectal searches by police are legal. According to the Fifth District Court of Appeals, the removal of 54 grams of cocaine from a suspect's rectum by a member of the Orange County highway drug squad was "part of a legal patdown to make sure the man wasn't armed..."

last cheeky act!

really cheeky bugger this fella...dead already, still cause trouble for others

A dead man had one final earthly act before moving on.

Fire officials said the six-hundred pound man was in being cremated when his body fluids were too much for the oven.

The body fluids seeped out onto the floor and ignited causing a fire at the Garner Funeral Home in Salt Lake City.

"Those fluids can be very flammable," said Scott Freitag of the Salt Lake City fire department. "Sort of like a grease fire."

read more HERE