Tuesday, May 18, 2010
vagina dentata?
I was just a little boy when I went shopping with my mother and was waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for her to come out. While waiting, I got bored, and just when she came walking out, she saw me sliding my hand up a mannequin's skirt.
"Get your hand out of there!" she shouted. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?"
I quickly snatched my hand away and thanked my lucky stars I didn't get bitten.
For the next ten years, I grew up believing all women had teeth between their legs. When I was 16, I had my first girlfriend. One night, while her parents were out of town, she invited me over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she said, "You know, you could go a little further if you want."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she said, pointing to her crotch.
"HELL NO," I cried, "you got teeth down there!"
"Don't be ridiculous," she responded, "there's no such thing as teeth down there!"
"Yes, there are," I countered, "my Mom told me so."
"No, there aren't," she insisted. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulled down her pants and gave him a little peek.
"No, I'm sorry," I said. "My Mom already told me that all women have teeth down there."
"Oh for crying out loud!" she cried. She whipped off her panties, threw her legs behind her head and said, "LOOK, I DON"T have any teeth down there."
I took a good long look and replied, "Well, after seeing the condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!"
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