1. Cashtration (n.) : The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.) : The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.) : The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) : The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your n bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.) : The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
18. Coffee ( n.) : The person upon whom one coughs.
19. Flabbergasted , adj. : Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
20. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
21. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
22. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
23. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
24. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
25. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
26. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
27. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
28. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam..
29. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
30. Pokemon , n. . A Rastafarian proctologist.
31. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
32. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
33. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of jockey shorts worn by Jewish men.
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