the PMS dictionary

i can just imagine the seriously-grumpy face!!!

• ATOMIC - Go ahead. Try me. See what happens…
• BITCH - This may not be monthly, but it’s obvious now.
• CHOCOLATE - Give it to me… in solid, syrup or liquid form. I don’t care. Just hand it over or see A.
• DEMANDING - I am suffering so I can give life to a little person later. I deserved to be spoiled.
• ETERNITY - It feels like this lasts this long…
• FRIENDS - Other women are needed to empathize. Men need to stay away.
• GROSS - I feel disgusting and dirty and I hate it.
• HURT - What I’m going to do to you if you don’t hand over the chocolate.
• INGENIOUS - Because I just am.
• JUGS - Tender and retaining water.
• KLEENEX - To catch my random tears as I eat my chocolate.
• LAZY - Because to move is to hurt.
• MASTICATE - What I’ll do to the chocolate.
• NAUSEOUS - Can’t wait to experience actual morning sickness.
• OBESE - How I always feel during this time.
• PAINED - Head, stomach, back, legs, body… everywhere aches.
• QUACKERS - Because this drives me nuts!
• REGURGITATE - What I’ll do after I’ve had too much chocolate.
• SLEEPY - My muscles are moving of their own according. I’m tired.
• TYLENOL - My BFF right now.
• UPSET - My emotions are at all extremes, but somehow all equal crying.
• VIOLENT - Don’t taunt the animal. Just drop the chocolate and run.
• INEY - You would too if it felt like the Lord of Dance was dancing on your belly.
• XY - The chromosomes of the bastards who don’t have to suffer monthly.
• ZIT - Those things that always pop up right before my period.