librarians must be patient people...

...else how to they deal with dealing with idiots who ask questions like these?

* "I'm looking for a book."
* "Do you have books here?"
* "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"
* "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"
* "I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book, 'Waltzing through Grand Rapids." -- The actual title is "Slow Waltz In Cedar Bend."
* "Where is the reference desk?" -- Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying 'REFERENCE DESK'.
* "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?"
* "Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"
* "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"
* "I need a color photograph of George Washington." -- Other individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.
* "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"
* "I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck."
* "Is the basement upstairs?"
* "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months."
* "I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It's big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?
* "Do you have anything good to read?" -- The response was, "No, ma'am. I'm afraid we have 75,000 books, and they're all duds."