Divorce:
Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you with his bills.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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