# "I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old
# "TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dynamite."
# "I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.
# "I had to read and write six book reports." -- Girl, in an email to her friend, attempting to explain what she had to do over the summer. She later tried sending a correction, which read, "I had to read and write six books."
# "Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean
# "Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.
# "Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive
# "I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.
# "There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.
# "Quiet!" -- 4 year old, when asked what begins with 'M' and sounds good.
# "If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon
# "Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.
# "Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father
# "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens
# "How will that help?" -- Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom
# "They didn't see it -- it was all cut off!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother was asked how his grandparents liked his new haircut
# "Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" -- 7 year old son, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.
# "I had a fraction in my neck and had to go to the hospital for a long time." -- Fifth grader, to his class.
# "Well you're old, and you're not dead." -- 3 year old son, to his father. The comment followed an explanation of why the father's grandparents weren't around anymore.
# "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." -- A young son, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers
# "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." -- 3 year old son, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet.
# "I wish someone we knew would die so we could leave them flowers." -- 6 year old girl, upon seeing flowers in a cemetery.
# "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer
# "Watch out, Daddy. Mommy's got her eye on you!" -- 4 year old girl, after hearing her mother telling her father that she'd take an I.O.U. for a promised restaurant dinner.
# "I didn't look much -- I've only got little eyes!" -- 7 year old, about to be scolded for peeking at her Christmas presents
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