fans of 24 - you'll like this...

for those who have been following kiefer sutherland's jack bauer in 24, you all know how much of a tough guy he is, ya?

check out some jokes on jack bauer below...hahaha...really funny! =)) wakakakaka...

• The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
• Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
• Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."
• Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
• Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
• If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.
• Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
• Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
• 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
• Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
• When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
• When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
• Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
• Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
• Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours.
• It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
• On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
• Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
• Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
• Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
• Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
• Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
• Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
• If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer.
• Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
• There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.
• When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
• Jack Bauer was able to eliminate Bird Flu playing Duck Hunt.
• Jack Bauer does not let women on top during sex. Why? Because Jack Bauer never fucks up.
• When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
• Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
• Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
• When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
• Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
• Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
• What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.